Someone Should’ve Told Me

As I grow I learn…and as I learn I pass along to you. I am a fan of shows that follow the lives of friends. Examples are Sex in the City (the movie or the WB version – I am too sensitive for the HBO version), Let's Talk about Pep, and Why Did I Get Married (Tyler Perry). I love the idea of friends sticking together through the good and the bad, and always having someone to talk to or lean on. I am often jealous (sorry to say) of these types of friendships mostly because I don't have a group like this of my own. Someone should've told me that these friendships are hard to come by and are often established when you don't have "young" children.

When I looked into this friendship phenomenon further I noticed that they all have two things in common. First is the lack of "young" children, and two, age. All of my favorite friend show characters do not have children under 5 years old. A good theory for why this exists is that you don't have time for friendships when you have children that young. You probably are a "bad" friend when you have little time because friendship must be cultivated. If I am honest, I would have to agree that time is something I don't really have to lend right now. I have just enough time to eat, work, sleep, cook, clean, be a mom, and be a wife. I try to keep in touch, but it is not that easy during this phase in my life. Luckily I have a small group of understanding friends that realize life happens, and don't take it personally if they don't hear from me in a few weeks.

Another factor is my age, which almost lines up with the young children theory. All of my shows depict friendship circles where the members are in a different phase of life than I am. They are generally in their mid to late 30s or older. These people normally have older children and more time. I have settled with the fact that I just don't fit the criteria right now.

Another honorable mention is distance or geographical location. If you don't live by your friends you can't see them as much – simply stated. My closest friends live on the other side of town or in another city. It is hard to gather for the everyday pleasantries when you have to spend most of your time in the car traveling.

With all of this in mind, I have determined that it is alright to be without the friendship circle for now. I will wait my turn…grow up…raise my children…and maybe then my circle will come. Someone should've told me that making and keeping friends is just as hard as an adult as it is during childhood.